Cien Cosas
Here I go, like so many of my compadres in the blogosphere, clogging up the Internets with unsolicited personal information. Enjoy!
1. My parents would have named me “Avery” whether I was a boy or a girl.
2. I turned out to be a girl/woman/lady.
3. I get mail/e-mail addressed to “Mr. Avery” pretty regularly.
4. But I love my name.
5. My name was my great-grandmother’s maiden name.
6. I am married to the most amazing guy ever. (He has a beard! He loves Jesus! He fixes cars! He cooks me breakfast! He makes daguerreotypes!)
7. He proposed by hiding the ring in my sewing box while I was mending a pair of his pants…and yes, that means he was not wearing pants.
8. We are slowly and roundabout-ly working toward homesteading, living off the land, being self-sufficient, etc.
9. We have a lot to learn about item 8.
10. We own: a 1965 SIIA Land Rover (his), a 1973 SIII Land Rover (hers), a 1988 MItusbishi Starion (his), a 1990 Honda Civic Wagon (hers), a 1982 Honda Shadow motorcycle (his) and a 1985 Honda Rebel motorcycle (hers).
11. And a 30-foot travel trailer.
12. We think it is ridiculous that two people have 6 vehicles.
13. The 1974 Land Rover and the trailer are for sale.
14. We are trying to buy our first house.
15. See what I mean about roundabout-ly?
16. All of our vehicles have names.
17. I will not list them here.
18. All of our vehicles are paid for.
19. Yes, you read that correctly.
20. This is quickly becoming a list of things about “us,” not me.
21. Apparently I don’t find myself 100 things worth of interesting.
22. OK, back to the facts: I love bluegrass music, the real old-timey stuff like Roscoe Holcomb.
23. I also love old spirituals and gospel hymns.
24. Basically I dig old things.
25. I know little bits of Spanish.
26. I like to sprinkle them into my writing or conversation when they pop into my head (see: the title of this page).
27. I also know little bits of Latin.
28. It does not so much creep into my speech/writing as inform my vocabulary.
29. Obviously, I am a nerd about words.
30. I’ve written a book of poetry.
31. I’m scared to publish it.
32. But I think it is (close to) publishable.
33. I have a tendency to qualify statements that make me sound (what I think is too) confident.
34. I make my own granola.
35. I make my own peanut butter.
36. Hummus is one of my favorite foods of life.
37. I believe hummus should always have toasted pine nuts on it.
38. I have a problem with Lycra.
39. Although it’s probably in lots of things I wear, especially underthings.
40. I guess I dislike the word itself.
41. Are you still reading this?
42. Wow.
43. Yes, I know those last two were cheating.
44. I copy-edit everything I read.
45. I used to always point out typos to folks, and not always in the nicest way.
46. It was probably more of a gleeful-cause-I-caught-your-error-which-means-I-might-be-smarter-than-you way.
47. I’ve stopped doing this.
48. But I still notice the errors.
49. And I write in corrections, if it is written material.
50. Doesn’t matter that I can’t actually edit it when the document I’m reading is already in its final version; I just need it to be right.
51. I think I have selective O.C.D.
52. Proof: my cluttered, messy desk doesn’t bother me–until I can’t find something that I really need.
53. But if the runner on our coffee table is askew, I must straighten it.
54. Even though I know that within seconds, my husband will prop his feet up on the table, sending the runner back into all kinds of disarray.
55. Sometimes I’ll try to straighten it while his feet are on it.
56. This is never very productive.
57. There you have it: selective O.C.D.
58. I don’t think there is a better snack in the world than a Gala apple with crunchy natural peanut butter.
59. Unless it’s edamame.
60. Or Snyder’s honey mustard and onion pretzel bits.
61. Funny thing is, I hate mustard.
62. I have a monstrously long torso.
63. I have been to all 50 U.S. states.
64. I have lived in a travel trailer for roughly four years of my life (not consecutive).
65. I cut my own hair.
66. And my husband’s.
67. And some of our friends’.
68. I’ve found being your own hairstylist is easy when you have dreads.
69. It’s even easier when you shave your head.
70. I’m pretty much a fan of D.I.Y. everything.
71. Proof: I destroyed three spoons trying to make my own black-n-tan maker, even though you can buy one for probably about a dollar.
72. Further proof: I have not taken a car to a “real” mechanic (that is, one you have to pay) in approximately three years.
73. I guess I like being able to say “I made it” or “My husband fixed it.”
74. OK, I love being able to say those things.
75. My point is, I’m really big on self sufficiency.
76. I have never broken a bone or had to get stitches.
77. In fact, I’ve never been hospitalized, period.
78. I have, however, passed out suddenly at least 5 times.
79. One of those times was in a hospital.
80. Two of those times were in tattoo parlors.
81. I was not getting tattooed at the time.
82. I was getting my eyebrow and tragus pierced, respectively.
83. Both of those piercings got super infected and no longer have jewelry in them.
84. I find this somewhat eerie.
85. Especially considering that all of my other piercings (during which I did not pass out), are perfectly healthy and still contain jewelry (when I want them to, that is).
86. I did not pass out while getting any of my tattoos (go figure).
87. I have two wedding rings.
88. One is a tattoo.
89. The other one is wooden and my husband made it.
90. He has a tattoo and a wooden ring too.
91. I hate cake.
92. I basically have a take-it-or-leave-it attitude about most sweets.
93. Exceptions: dark chocolate, gelato and homemade tiramisu.
94. I taught myself basic HTML with one of those “For Dummies” books when I was 16.
95. I then built myself what was probably a very typical website for any technically inclined ’90s teenager.
96. It contained many sappy poems and bad metaphors about fire and angst.
97. No, you cannot have the URL for it.
98. I am addicted to Orbit Sweet Mint chewing gum.
99. Despite all my Internet skillz, I didn’t know what a LOLcat was until about a month ago.
100. The discovery of LOLcats has infinitely enriched my life. For realz.